Wednesday, April 8, 2009

In the Motherhood...

This morning after my 5:30am run, I came home and plopped my tired behind on the couch. I was thinking to myself "1 hour of silence, 1 hour to myself." I should have been editing photos in my 1 hour of quietness, but I was just too tired. I flipped on the t.v. and went straight to my DVR list. I am behind about 2 1/2 weeks behind on General Hospital episodes, I have about 3 episodes of Desperate Housewifes to watch, and a million Oprahs. Now I don't generally watch Oprah, but I record it because she does have some good stuff on occasionally.

I clicked on the first episode for this week. It was a show about motherhood. It was very interesting. All of these real women were talking about motherhood had some "confessions" to make. It was hilarious, but it made me start thinking about the way that I look at being a mother.
The blog is a good way to document things that are happening, milestones in our lives, but I think that it is a little one sided. We, as a whole, don't want people to judge us. We don't want people to think that we don't have it all together. We want to look perfect, right? We, as women, were raised with the idea that we could do it all and have it all. But on this Oprah there were women talking about how they viewed themselves as failures. How being able to do it all felt overwhelming.

I mean lets be real. There are days when being a mother is not all that it is cracked up to be. A friend from High School posted this just the other day. Check it out...We have all had days like these. (Steph I am linking you, is that okay? I just had to share it)

You get married and immediately people are asking when the babies are coming. So you think that to make your life perfect you must have babies. Then you see people with babies and you think that it is so fun and so perfect. So jump on the bandwagon and start a family. It's all great! You tell people and everyone is so excited and you get to shop for cute little things and it is just perfect...

But what I love is that no one tells you the whole truth. NO one tells you that you will get pooped on, puked on, you will go days without sleeping, you will go to the store with bugers on your shoulder, you will have to plan your days around nap times, and you will no long be able to pee alone.

But no one tells you the joys of it all either. No one tells you that at the very moment you hold those little babies that you just fall in love. No one tells you that the puke and the poop is all worth it and that you forget those things when your baby laughs. There are days when being a mom is tiring and exuasting and there are days that I struggle through. There are days when going back to work seems like heaven on earth. There are days when the thought of peeing alone makes me smile. But then my little baby says " mommy read me" and I smile and I read and she laughs and claps and helps me turn the pages and peeing alone doens't seem like THAT big of a deal.

So if there is anyone who reads this and ever thinks that you are alone in the craziness of motherhood. Your NOT alone. We all have days when we wish for a little time alone. We all have days when we wish for our pre-baby bodies. We all have days when we wish we could pee in silence.

So lets talk about it. Tell me your bad days, tell me about your good days. Tell me you all wish you could pee alone...because we all know that we think things like this. We all know that we don't want anyone else to know that we have days when we feel like crying because somedays it is just too much. Share your stories. It makes us all feel better that we are not alone...


K'Brina said...

I will leave the 1st
"confession". I assume that you all get that I never get to pee alone.
I used to love to vacuum just to see the lines in the carpet. Now if I vacuum once every 2 weeks I feel pretty good about it.
2nd. My Emerson, lately has been dressing herself (in non-matching clothes) and I haven't been getting her hair done at all... and it kinda doesn't bother me.
3rd. Sometimes I am so tired and tired of listening to my kids at night, that they go straight to bed without brushing their teeth.
4th. I ran out of milk last night and was too tired to go to the store, so my kids had water with their breakfast.
Try it, admit something, IT FEELS SO GOOD!!
and if you click the annonymous button no one will know who you are.

Carolyn said...

1.I bribe my neighbor with cookies to take my older kids to school in the morning so I don't have to wake the little boys and can get a little time to myself. I should use that time to clean but instead I use it to do my morning net surfing.

2.I take my kids out for car just so they are all buckled in and quiet for a while.

3. While helping my kids clean up their rooms, I help some annoying toys find their was into the trash bag.

4. I never do my dishes after dinner, unless the grandparents are in town. otherwise they wait until the morning.

5. We rarely have dinner before 7.

You're right it does feel good :) Think I might have to blog on it the next day or 2. my kids being home for spring break is making me a little crazy

Carolyn said...

2. *car ride

btw, the video on my blog made me think of you

Meesh said...

OK I have to give the OLDER version of this. I used to feel this way but then comes the time in your life that you long for those sweet little ones wanting to be with you every moment and the only one wanting to know where your going when you head out of the room is your hubby. After he has asked for the 100th time you scream, "To the bathroom. Is that OK with you!!!!" What I'm trying to say is enjoy every moment of it!! Because it is all over too soon!! Love you, Aunt MiShele P.S. Don't sweat the small stuff because they remember the good parts.

Mindy Thurston said...

Haha! I love this topic....I think I could be the president of the mommy guilt club because I can't seem to do it least not the way I want it done.

I confess....I can't help my son with his 5th grade math's too hard. I have to call my mom to help.

And....I don't take my kids to church because the thought of dragging 6 kids there by myself makes me cringe...even though I know we need to go!

It's hard for all of us! I just think we are all really good at hiding our "crazy"....even though we feel it!

Alicia Beckstead said...

Are you sure you didn't write this for me?????
My biggest guilt I have among many mommy guilts I have is that I work full time. But Kaysha was having a grown up conversation with me the other day about going running in the mornings with Brina. She said, "mom that is so nice that you can have your friend tend your kids while you have to work... It is so fun to be there". My kids are happy which makes me happy. So after talking to a six year old I felt much better. I was glad we had that talk.
I just try to make the best of the time I do have with them and I am thankful for K'Brina.
So my other confession is that usually only my livingroom is clean so when people come over it looks like I might keep the rest of my house clean to.

Angie said...

Its good to know that I am not the only one that has these feelings.
1. I have breakdowns. My baby boy Kyle pulled the curling iron down on his arm an my mother-in-law walked in my house just in time to see my melt down! (I cry all the time)
2. I try not to go to the store with my kids. its just easier that way :)
3. Hayden ran around in his underwear all day today, and Kyle in a diaper. I didn't mind at all.

I think that when you have a baby peeing and bathing alone is something you give up, along with your flat stomach. But seeing that smile on those faces makes everything ok!!

Trinia said...

1. I don't get up in the mornings with Dillon and Denim. I'm not a morning person, and they know it. They get up and fix themselves a bowl of cereal, and then wake me up right before they are ready to leave, so I can comb their hair.
2. I love grocery shopping, only because it is the only thing that nobody wants to go with me to do.
3. I'm excited about spring break, only because I might be able to bribe my kids to help me with the housework.
4. I'm really hard on Dillon. I know what he is capable of, and so I expect only the best out of him. This is something I need to work on.

Dawn Rae said...

I don't usually watch Oprah (too pro-Obama for me), but my sisters-in-law have been raving about this episode too, so I just might have to youtube it. I love blogging because it connects me with other moms and their everyday struggles. It is great to see everyone has their ups and downs.
Here are my two confessions:
1) If my husband is not going to be home for dinner we usually end up at McDonalds and then we have more crappy Happy Meal toys to pick up...
2) Sometimes, okay about once a week, the kids get planted in front of the tv for a few hours so I can try and get the house somewhat clean.

Mindy Thurston said...

This is Carly Lewis. I dont have an account yet so Mindy let me use hers so I could leave a comment.
I just have to say that I love reading your blog. You tell the truth and your real about life. Here are my confessions:
1. I hate laundry!!! I have folded laundry on the couch all the time. People come over and i have to move it so they can sit down. I hate putting it away, and when i do put it away it seems like the next day there are more clothes to fold.
2. I have a sock basket. When we need socks, we have to go the the basket and find mates.
3. I have admit that coming to work isnt all that bad. Although i wish it wasnt 8 hours a day away from my baby.

Dede said...

This is such a cute blog and I had to laugh because as I read it my kids were in the tub, which is my "out." My kids have an insane amount of baths because they seem to finally get along and then I run around and try to finish what I haven't any other time! I can even ignore the giant puddle that always gets left

Chandler, Ashley, and Breagan said...

Just had to tell ya that this is exactly what I needed today! :) I'm pretty new at this whole 'mom' thing, so the only confession that I really have is that if Breagan falls asleep at night in her carseat, that's where she stays until she wakes up. I'm totally into the motto of 'letting sleeping dogs lie'!

Britania said...

Honey you know I have crazy days, probably everyday. With three little boys, 2 of them wilder than ever. I hear you on the peeing alone thing, I can't escape for one second and if I do the only reason they don't bother me is cause they are getting into something.
1st I let my kids watch way too much TV in hopes that they will set and watch for a for a little while and I can be alone.
2nd They take the longest baths cause they are contained to one area.
the list could go on and on.

Stephanie said...

Oh man! I loved that episode. I don't mind you linking me at all. Obviously I have a few confessions of my own I can make.
1-I save a lot of my "errands" until night so that I can leave them with Barry. I usually take the long way and enjoy the quiet time in the car.
2-My four year old son has his own lap top and spends way more time on it then he should because it keeps him busy.
The list really could go on and on. The truth is...I wouldn't trace my job for the world and I really do cherish all the tiem I have with my kids. But in order to be the best mom I can to them, I need a little "me" time. I dont' feel guilty about it at all but sometimes I think other woman judge. I have decided everyone just wants the best for their kids. None of us are perfect but we all do the best we can. Thanks for the post K'Brina!

Misty said...

I LOVED THIS POST!!! What "real Mom" doesn't have a million little or BIG confessions to make?!?
1st. My kids watch WAY too much television, movies included. It really is the only time I can get some work done.
2nd. Once Braydan gets home from work (if it's been one of "those" days) I totally let my "patience" guard down & freak out over the little, dumb things.
3rd. If we don't have something to do or somewhere to go we hang out in our pj's ALL DAY LONG & we love it.
There are a million things I know, especially as a mother with such a huge, overwhelming resposibility that I need to improve. I'm just doing the best I can with the things I know. Aren't we all?